Many people talk about empathy, especially the value of empathy, and know it’s a good thing. But it’s not always a top priority. Around 98% of people can empathize with others, so some might not see it as very important. However, there are exceptions. Psychopaths, narcissists, and sociopaths are three types of people who can’t understand or relate to the feelings of others.
Some people, like those with Autism, may find it hard to understand how others feel. But they can still relate to others’ emotions, just in a different way. Most people can show empathy, but it’s not always common today. So, what is empathy, and why is it important?
In this post, we will discuss the following:
- Can we develop empathy or are we born with a certain amount?
- Are some of us simply better at empathizing?
- Is it really as valuable as some claim it is to practice empathy?
Ready? Let’s go!
What is Empathy?
In the most basic sense, empathy is the ability to understand what is happening from another person’s perspective. Furthermore, it’s the ability to share the feelings and emotions of a peer and understand why they’re experiencing those feelings.
Numerous well-known individuals have shared their thoughts regarding the value of empathy.
Maya Angelou once stated, “I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it.”
Albert Einstein noted that “Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”
Former President Barack Obama said, “The biggest deficit that we have in our society and in the world right now is an empathy deficit. We are in great need of people being able to stand in somebody else’s shoes and see the world through their eyes.”
At the memorial for the five police officers who lost their lives in Dallas in 2016, former President George W. Bush stated, “At our best, we practice empathy, imagining ourselves in the lives and circumstances of others. This is the bridge across our nation’s deepest divisions.”
Different Types of Empathy
In an effort to define empathy and the overall value of empathy, people have developed three categories of empathy. According to Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman, two well-known psychologists, there are three types of empathy: cognitive, emotional, and compassionate.
- Cognitive empathy: This form of empathy involves the ability to understand how a peer feels and to figure out what they might be thinking.
- Emotional empathy: This type of empathy revolves around the ability to share another person’s emotions. This would mean when you see someone else who is sad, it makes you sad too.
- Compassionate empathy: This version of empathy is when you take feelings and convert them into actions. It extends beyond understanding and relating to other people’s situations and pushes one to do something.
The Value of Empathy
Empathy is valuable in nearly every aspect of our daily lives. It allows us to have compassion for our peers and helps us relate to friends, loved ones, co-workers, and even strangers. More importantly, it makes a large positive difference in the world.
The Value of Empathy in Our Personal Lives
Healthy relationships need care, understanding, and attention. A friendship or romance without empathy will likely fall apart. If people only care about themselves, others in the relationship will get hurt.
In a marriage, if one spouse doesn’t try to understand the other’s view, problems will arise. No two people think exactly the same or have the same experiences. Each person brings their own ideas, experiences, and struggles. If they don’t try to understand each other’s feelings, they will feel unloved and uncared for.
The Value of Empathy in Our Professional Lives
Most of us work in places where teamwork is important. When working with others, it’s crucial to understand and relate to our coworkers. Even if we’re on different projects, we still need to get along. Showing empathy helps keep relationships smooth and healthy. Without it, arguments and disagreements can happen more easily.
It’s also important for managers to have empathy. Without it, they might treat their workers unfairly. These managers could push employees to work too hard or be too harsh when mistakes are made.
Furthermore, greater empathy in the workplace often translates into increased performance, sales, and better leadership.
The Global Value of Empathy
Empathy on a global level is of great value. This is especially true when it results in compassion. This form of empathy encourages people to dive in and help when disaster strikes. People are willing to help those whom they’ve never met because they know that they too would need the support if things were reversed.
A world without compassionate empathy would be a far darker and less functional place to live.
Can the Value of Empathy Be Taught?
Some evidence shows that a person’s ability to empathize is linked to their genes. But there’s also strong evidence that empathy can grow or shrink over time.
One of the best ways to help someone become more empathetic is to start teaching it early. Empathy is part of something called “emotional intelligence.” Teaching kids to think about how others feel is a great way to show them the importance of empathy.
When one child hurts or teases another on the playground, it’s good to ask the child who did it how they think the other child feels. You can also ask how they would feel if someone treated them the same way. Would they like being teased or hurt? Would they feel sad or angry if a friend was mean to them?
You can use this idea for good things too. For example, sharing is an important lesson. We teach children to share because they like it when others share with them. It’s also easy to teach kids to be kind because they enjoy it when others are kind to them.
How to Better Understand the Value of Empathy
It is without question easier to teach a person to show empathy from childhood. However, it is also possible for adults to improve their understanding and practice of empathy. Here are a few ways that adults can improve their empathy.
Read Fiction
This may seem far-fetched, but reading fiction can actually improve your empathy. Recent studies show that when people read fiction, their brains genuinely feel as if they’re entering a new world. For instance, researchers at the University of Buffalo studied participants who had read Twilight and Harry Potter. Upon careful analysis of their findings, they discovered that people self-identified as vampires and wizards respectively.
This is important because it shows that individuals are able to identify with people and groups that are outside of themselves. Let’s put this into a non-fantasy application. It shows that people can relate to people who live lives that are totally different than their own. For instance, an individual from the United States could read a book about a person from China and eventually learn to identify with someone on the other side of the world.
In an article about the research conducted at the University of Buffalo, Brandon Specktor writes, “In fiction…we are able to understand characters’ actions from their interior point of view, by entering into their situations and minds, rather than the more exterior view of them that we usually have.” In short, where we would typically not have access to another person’s thoughts, literature provides us with a window into the inner thoughts of other people.
Listen
The simple practice of listening to others is a phenomenal way to develop empathy. When we slow down and take the time to listen to the things that other people are telling us, we can then begin to grasp how they think and how they feel.
Listening occurs best when we put aside our personal thoughts and opinions and carefully think about what our peers are saying. We can also listen better when we set aside distractions such as our phones and tablets. When we dedicate our full attention to others we make them feel like we care for them. It also gives us an opportunity to genuinely understand their point of view.
Strive to Understand Those with Differing Opinions and Beliefs
For most of us, it’s far easier to relate to people who are in our “in-group.” In other words, it’s without question easier to trust or understand those who we think are like us. This style of thinking can be inhibiting in a diverse workplace. It can also suppress compassionate empathy for those who venture outside their communities.
In order to challenge this type of thinking, it’s important to take the time to understand people who are different. To expand empathy, a person might have to challenge their preconceived notions and biases and consider another person’s point of view.
You can also achieve this by widening your circle and becoming friends with people you may not ordinarily connect with. You may be surprised to find that you have more in common than you first thought. Doing so will likely broaden your ability for empathy.
